"Oh," said Jack the Dullard, "I can hardly tell you. How glad the Princess will be!"
"Bah!" said the brothers; "that is nothing but clay out of the ditch."
"Yes, certainly it is," said Jack the Dullard; "and clay of the finest sort. See, it is so wet, it runs through one's fingers." And he filled his pocket with the clay.
But his brothers galloped on till the sparks flew, and consequently they arrived a full hour earlier at the town gate than could Jack. Now at the gate each suitor was provided with a number, and all were placed in rows immediately on their arrival, six in each row, and so closely packed together that they could not move their arms; and that was a prudent arrangement, for they would certainly have come to blows, had they been able, merely because one of them stood before the other.
All the inhabitants of the country round about stood in great crowds around the castle, almost under the very windows, to see the
Princess receive the suitors; and as each stepped into the hall, his power of speech seemed to desert him, like the light of a candle that is blown out. Then the Princess would say, "He is of no use! Away with him out of the hall!"
At last the turn came for that brother who knew the dictionary by heart; but he did not know it now; he had absolutely forgotten it
altogether; and the boards seemed to re-echo with his footsteps, and the ceiling of the hall was made of looking-glass, so that he saw himself standing on his head; and at the window stood three clerks and a head clerk, and every one of them was writing down every single word that was uttered, so that it might be printed in the newspapers, and sold for a penny at the street corners. It was a terrible ordeal, and they had, moreover, made such a fire in the stove, that the room seemed quite red hot.
"It is dreadfully hot here!" observed the first brother.
"Yes," replied the Princess, "my father is going to roast young pullets today."
"Baa!" there he stood like a baa-lamb. He had not been prepared for a speech of this kind, and had not a word to say, though he intended to say something witty. "Baa!"
"He is of no use!" said the Princess. "Away with him!"
And he was obliged to go accordingly. And now the second brother came in.
"It is terribly warm here!" he observed.
"Yes, we're roasting pullets to-day," replied the Princess.
"What- what were you- were you pleased to ob-" stammered he- and all the clerks wrote down, "pleased to ob-"
"He is of no use!" said the Princess. "Away with him!"
Now came the turn of Jack the Dullard. He rode into the hall on his goat.
"Well, it's most abominably hot here."
"Yes, because I'm roasting young pullets," replied the Princess.
"Ah, that's lucky!" exclaimed Jack the Dullard, "for I suppose you'll let me roast my crow at the same time?"
"With the greatest pleasure," said the Princess. "But have you anything you can roast it in? for I have neither pot nor pan."
"Certainly I have!" said Jack. "Here's a cooking utensil with a tin handle."
And he brought out the old wooden shoe, and put the crow into it.
"Well, that is a famous dish!" said the Princess. "But what shall we do for sauce?"
"Oh, I have that in my pocket," said Jack; "I have so much of it that I can afford to throw some away;" and he poured some of the clay out of his pocket.
"I like that!" said the Princess. "You can give an answer, and you have something to say for yourself, and so you shall be my husband.
But are you aware that every word we speak is being taken down, and will be published in the paper to-morrow? Look yonder, and you will see in every window three clerks and a head clerk; and the old head clerk is the worst of all, for he can't understand anything."
But she only said this to frighten Jack the Dullard; and the clerks gave a great crow of delight, and each one spurted a blot out of his pen on to the floor.
"Oh, those are the gentlemen, are they?" said Jack; "then I will give the best I have to the head clerk." And he turned out his pockets, and flung the wet clay full in the head clerk's face.
"That was very cleverly done," observed the Princess. "I could not have done that; but I shall learn in time."
And accordingly Jack the Dullard was made a king, and received a crown and a wife, and sat upon a throne. And this report we have wet from the press of the head clerk and the corporation of printers- but they are not to be depended upon in the least.
