"The cock-fight for pay at the gate. You give something, pay for see bloody row. Do I make its comprehension?""A run for their money - is that what you mean? Gad, you're sporting, Governor.""So I say. I am loyalist, too." He smiled more easily. "Now how can anything do herself for the customs-houses; but when the Company's mens she arrives, then a cock-fight for pay at gate that is quite correct. My army he says it will Republic and shoot me off upon walls if I have not give her blood. An army, Captain, are terrible in her angries - especialment when she are not paid. Iknow, too," here he laid his hand on Judson's shoulder, "I know too we are old friends. Yes! Badajos, Almeida, Fuentes d'Onor -time ever since; and a little, little cock-fight for pay at gate that is good for my king. More sit her tight on throne behind, you see? Now," he waved his hand round the decayed village, "I say to my armies, Fight! Fight the Company's men when she come, but fight not so very strong that you are any deads. It is all in the raporta that I send. But you understand, Captain, we are good friends all the time. Ah! Ciudad Rodrigo, you remember? No?
Perhaps your father, then? So you see no one are deads, and we fight a fight, and it is all in the raporta, to please the people in our country, and my armies they do not put me against the walls. You see?""Yes; but the 'Guadala'. She fired on us. Was that part of your game, my joker?""The 'Guadala'. Ah! No, I think not. Her captain he is too big fool. But I think she have gone down the coast. Those your gunboats poke her nose and shove her oar in every place. How is 'Guadala'?""On a shoal. Stuck till I take her off."
"There are any deads?"
"No."
The Governor drew a breath of deep relief. "There are no deads here. So you see none are deads anywhere, and nothing is done.
Captain, you talk to the Company's mens. I think they are not pleased.""Naturally."
"They have no sense. I thought to go backwards again they would. Ileave her stockade alone all night to let them out, but they stay and come facewards to me, not backwards. They did not know we must conquer much in all these battles, or the king, he is kicked off her throne. Now we have won this battle - this great battle," he waved his arms abroad, "and I think you will say so that we have won, Captain. You are loyalist also. You would not disturb to the peaceful Europe? Captain, I tell you this. Your Queen she know too. She would not fight her cousins. It is a - a hand-up thing.""What?"
"Hand-up thing. Jobe you put. How you say?""Put-up job?"
"Yes. Put-up job. Who is hurt? We win. You lose. All righta?"Bai-Jove-Judson had been exploding at intervals for the last five minutes. Here he broke down completely and roared aloud.
"But look here, Governor," he said at last, "I've got to think of other things than your riots in Europe. You've fired on our flag.""Captain, if you are me, you would have done how? And also, and also," he drew himself up to his full height, "we are both brave men of bravest countries. Our honour is the honour of our King,"here he uncovered, "and of our Queen," here he bowed low. "Now, Captain, you shall shell my palace and I shall be your prisoner.""Skittles!" said Bai-Jove-Judson. "I can't shell that old hencoop.""Then come to dinner. Madeira, she are still to us, and I have of the best she manufac."He skipped over the side beaming, and Bai-Jove-Judson went into the cabin to laugh his laugh out. When he had recovered a little he sent Mr. Davies to the head of the Pioneers, the dusty man with the gatlings, and the troops who had abandoned the pursuit of arms watched the disgraceful spectacle of two men reeling with laughter on the quarter-deck of a gunboat.
"I'll put my men to build him a custom-house," said the head of the Pioneers, gasping. "We'll make him one decent road at least.
That Governor ought to be knighted. I'm glad now that we didn't fight 'em in the open, or we'd have killed some of them. So he's won great battles, has he? Give him the compliments of the victims, and tell him I'm coming to dinner. You haven't such a thing as a dress-suit, have you? I haven't seen one for six months."That evening there was a dinner in the village - a general and enthusiastic dinner, whose head was in the Governor's house, and whose tail threshed at large throughout all the streets. The Madeira was everything that the Governor had said, and more, and it was tested against two or three bottles of Bai-Jove-Judson's best Vanderhum, which is Cape brandy ten years in the bottle, flavoured with orange-peel and spices. Before the coffee was removed (by the lady who had made the flag of truce) the Governor had sold the whole of his governorship and its appurtenances, once to Bai-Jove-Judson for services rendered by Judson's grandfather in the Peninsular War, and once to the head of the Pioneers, in consideration of that gentleman's good friendship. After the negotiation he retreated for a while into an inner apartment, and there evolved a true and complete account of the defeat of the British arms, which he read with his cocked hat over one eye to Judson and his companion. It was Judson who suggested the sinking of the flat-iron with all hands, and the head of the Pioneers who supplied the list of killed and wounded (not more than two hundred) in his command.
