They had but to appear on deck at the same time, when they would be at it, cursing, snarling, striking; and I have seen Leach fling himself upon Wolf Larsen without warning or provocation.Once he threw his heavy sheath-knife, missing Wolf Larsen's throat by an inch.Another time he dropped a steel marlinspike from the mizzen crosstree.It was a difficult cast to make on a rolling ship, but the sharp point of the spike, whistling seventy-five feet through the air, barely missed Wolf Larsen's head as he emerged from the cabin companionway and drove its length two inches and over into the solid deck-planking.Still another time, he stole into the steerage, possessed himself of a loaded shot-gun, and was making a rush for the deck with it when caught by Kerfoot and disarmed.
I often wondered why Wolf Larsen did not kill him and make an end of it.But he only laughed and seemed to enjoy it.There seemed a certain spice about it, such as men must feel who take delight in making pets of ferocious animals.
"It gives a thrill to life," he explained to me, "when life is carried in one's hand.Man is a natural gambler, and life is the biggest stake he can lay.The greater the odds, the greater the thrill.Why should Ideny myself the joy of exciting Leach's soul to fever- pitch? For that matter, I do him a kindness.The greatness of sensation is mutual.He is living more royally than any man for'ard, though he does not know it.For he has what they have not -- purpose, something to do and be done, an all-absorbing end to strive to attain, the desire to kill me, the hope that he may kill me.Really, Hump, he is living deep and high.I doubt that he has ever lived so swiftly and keenly before, and I honestly envy him, sometimes, when I see him raging at the summit of passion and sensibility.""Ah, but it is cowardly, cowardly!" I cried."You have all the advantage.""Of the two of us, you and I, who is the greater coward?" he asked seriously.
"If the situation is unpleasing, you compromise with your conscience when you make yourself a party to it.If you were really great, really true to yourself, you would join forces with Leach and Johnson.But you are afraid, you are afraid.You want to live.The life that is in you cries out that it must live, no matter what the cost; so you live ignominiously, untrue to the best you dream of, sinning against your whole pitiful little code, and, if there were a hell, heading your soul straight for it.Bah!
I play the braver part.I do no sin, for I am true to the promptings of the life that is in me.I am sincere with my soul at least, and that is what you are not."There was a sting in what he said.Perhaps, after all, I was playing a cowardly part.And the more I thought about it the more it appeared that my duty to myself lay in doing what he had advised, lay in joining forces with Johnson and Leach and working for his death.Right here, I think, entered the austere conscience of my Puritan ancestry, impelling me toward lurid deeds and sanctioning even murder as right conduct.I dwelt upon the idea.It would be a most moral act to rid the world of such a monster.
Humanity would be better and happier for it, life fairer and sweeter.
I pondered it long, lying sleepless in my bunk and reviewing in endless procession the facts of the situation.I talked with Johnson and Leach, during the night watches when Wolf Larsen was below.Both men had lost hope, -- Johnson, because of temperamental despondency; Leach, because he had beaten himself out in the vain struggle and was exhausted.But he caught my hand in a passionate grip one night, saying:
"I think yer square, Mr.Van Weyden.But stay where you are and keep yer mouth shut.Say nothin' but saw wood.We're dead men, know it; but all the same you might be able to do us a favor some time when we need it damn bad."It was only next day, when Wainwright Island loomed to windward, close abeam, that Wolf Larsen opened his mouth in prophecy.He had attacked Johnson, been attacked by Leach, and had just finished whipping the pair of them.
"Leach," he said, "you know I'm going to kill you some time or other, don't you?"A snarl was the answer.
