She could not doubt, for a moment, that she looked upon herself;but, oh, merciful heavens! how unlike the reflected self of her own mirror! Once or twice as she looked, her mind refused to work, and she simply gazed blankly at the minor details of the picture.But then again, the expression of the grey eyes drew her, recalling so vividly every feeling she had experienced when that dear head had come so unexpectedly to its resting-place upon her bosom."It is true," she whispered; and again: "Yes; it is true.I cannot deny it.
It is as I felt; it must be as I looked."And then, suddenly; she fell upon her knees before the picture."Oh, my God! Is that as I looked? And the next thing that happened was my boy lifting his shining eyes and gazing at me in the moonlight.Is THIS what he saw? Did I look SO? And did the woman who looked so;and who, looking so, pressed his head down again upon her breast, refuse next day to marry him, on the grounds of his youth, and her superiority?...Oh, Garth, Garth!...O God, help him to understand!...help him to forgive me!"In the work-room just below, Maggie the housemaid was singing as she sewed.The sound floated through the open window, each syllable distinct in the clear Scotch voice, and reached Jane where she knelt.Her mind, stunned to blankness by its pain, took eager hold upon the words of Maggie's hymn.And they were these.
"O Love, that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee;I give Thee back the life I owe, That in Thine ocean depths its flow May richer, fuller be.""O Light, that followest all my way, I yield my flick'ring torch to Thee;My heart restores its borrowed ray, That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day May brighter, fairer be."Jane took the second picture, and placed it in front of the first.
The same woman, seated as before; but the man was not there; and in her arms, its tiny dark head pillowed against the fulness of her breast, lay a little child.The woman did not look over that small head, but bent above it, and gazed into the baby face.
The crimson rambler had grown right across the picture, and formed a glowing arch above mother and child.A majesty of tenderness was in the large figure of the mother.The face, as regarded contour and features, was no less plain; but again it was transfigured, by the mother-love thereon depicted.You knew "The Wife" had more than fulfilled her abundant promise.The wife was there in fullest realisation; and, added to wifehood, the wonder of motherhood.All mysteries were explained; all joys experienced; and the smile on her calm lips, bespoke ineffable content.
A rambler rose had burst above them, and fallen in a shower of crimson petals upon mother and child.The baby-fingers clasped tightly the soft lace at her bosom.A petal had fallen upon the tiny wrist.She had lifted her hand to remove it; and, catching the baby-eyes, so dark and shining, paused for a moment, and smiled.
Jane, watching them, fell to desperate weeping.The "mere boy" had understood her potential possibilities of motherhood far better than she understood them herself.Having had one glimpse of her as "The Wife," his mind had leaped on, and seen her as "The Mother." And again she was forced to say: "It is true--yes; it is true."And then she recalled the old line of cruel reasoning:
"It was not the sort of face one would have wanted to see always in front of one at table." Was this the sort of face--this, as Garth had painted it, after a supposed year of marriage? Would any man weary of it, or wish to turn away his eyes?
Jane took one more long look.Then she dropped the little bear, and buried her face in her hands; while a hot blush crept up to the very roots of her hair, and tingled to her finger-tips.
Below, the fresh young voice was singing again.
"O Joy, that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to Thee;I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not vain That morn shall tearless be."After a while Jane whispered: "Oh, my darling, forgive me.I was altogether wrong.I will confess; and, God helping me, I will explain; and, oh, my darling, you will forgive me?"Once more she lifted her head and looked at the picture.A few stray petals of the crimson rambler lay upon the ground; reminding her of those crushed roses, which, falling from her breast, lay scattered on the terrace at Shenstone, emblem of the joyous hopes and glory of love which her decision of that night had laid in the dust of disillusion.But crowning this picture, in rich clusters of abundant bloom, grew the rambler rose.And through the open window came the final verse of Maggie's hymn.
"O Cross, that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from Thee;I lay in dust life's glory dead, And from the ground there blossoms red Life that shall endless be."Jane went to the western window, and stood, with her arms stretched above her, looking out upon the radiance of the sunset.The sky blazed into gold and crimson at the horizon; gradually as the eye lifted, paling to primrose, flecked with rosy clouds; and, overhead, deep blue--fathomless, boundless, blue.
Jane gazed at the golden battlements above the purple hills, and repeated, half aloud: "And the city was of pure gold;--and had no need of the sun, neither of the moon to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it.And there shall be no more death; neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."Ah, how much had passed away since she stood at that western window, not an hour before.All life seemed readjusted; its outlook altered;its perspective changed.Truly Garth had "gone behind his blindness."Jane raised her eyes to the blue; and a smile of unspeakable anticipation parted her lips."Life, that shall endless be," she murmured.Then, turning, found the little bear, and restored him to his place upon the mantelpiece; put back the chair; closed the western window; and, picking up the two canvases, left the studio, and made her way carefully downstairs.
