LADY TEAZLE.I doubt they do indeed--and I will fairly own to you, that If I could be persuaded to do wrong it would be by Sir Peter's ill-usage--sooner than your honourable Logic, after all.
SURFACE.Then by this Hand, which He is unworthy of----Enter SERVANT
Sdeath, you Blockhead--what do you want?
SERVANT.I beg your Pardon Sir, but I thought you wouldn't chuse Sir Peter to come up without announcing him?
SURFACE.Sir Peter--Oons--the Devil!
LADY TEAZLE.Sir Peter! O Lud! I'm ruined! I'm ruin'd!
SERVANT.Sir, 'twasn't I let him in.
LADY TEAZLE.O I'm undone--what will become of me now Mr.Logick.--Oh! mercy, He's on the Stairs--I'll get behind here--and if ever I'm so imprudent again----[Goes behind the screen--]
SURFACE.Give me that--Book!----
[Sits down--SERVANT pretends to adjust his Hair--]
Enter SIR PETER
SIR PETER.Aye--ever improving himself!--Mr.Surface--SURFACE.Oh! my dear Sir Peter--I beg your Pardon--[Gaping and throws away the Book.] I have been dosing [dozing] over a stupid Book! well--I am much obliged to you for this Call--You haven't been here I believe since I fitted up this Room--Books you know are the only Things I am a Coxcomb in--SIR PETER.'Tis very neat indeed--well well that's proper--and you make even your Screen a source of knowledge--hung I perceive with Maps--SURFACE.O yes--I find great use in that Screen.
SIR PETER.I dare say you must--certainly--when you want to find out anything in a Hurry.
SURFACE.Aye or to hide anything in a Hurry either--SIR PETER.Well I have a little private Business--if we were alone--SURFACE.You needn't stay.
SERVANT.No--Sir----
[Exit SERVANT.]
SURFACE.Here's a Chair--Sir Peter--I beg----SIR PETER.Well--now we are alone--there IS a subject--my dear Friend--on which I wish to unburthen my Mind to you--a Point of the greatest moment to my Peace--in short, my good Friend--Lady Teazle's conduct of late has made me very unhappy.
SURFACE.Indeed I'm very sorry to hear it--SIR PETER.Yes 'tis but too plain she has not the least regard for me--but what's worse, I have pretty good Authority to suspect that she must have formed an attachment to another.
SURFACE.Indeed! you astonish me.
SIR PETER.Yes--and between ourselves--I think I have discover'd the Person.
SURFACE.How--you alarm me exceedingly!
SIR PETER.Ah: my dear Friend I knew you would sympathize with me.--SURFACE.Yes--believe me Sir Peter--such a discovery would hurt me just as much as it would you--SIR PETER.I am convinced of it--ah--it is a happiness to have a Friend whom one can trust even with one's Family secrets--but have you no guess who I mean?
SURFACE.I haven't the most distant Idea--it can't be Sir Benjamin Backbite.
SIR PETER.O--No.What say you to Charles?
SURFACE.My Brother--impossible!--O no Sir Peter you mustn't credit the scandalous insinuations you hear--no no--Charles to be sure has been charged with many things but go I can never think He would meditate so gross an injury--SIR PETER.Ah! my dear Friend--the goodness of your own Heart misleads you--you judge of others by yourself.
SURFACE.Certainly Sir Peter--the Heart that is conscious of its own integrity is ever slowest to credit another's Treachery.--SIR PETER.True--but your Brother has no sentiment[--]you never hear him talk so.--SURFACE.Well there certainly is no knowing what men are capable of--no--there is no knowing--yet I can't but think Lady Teazle herself has too much Principle----SIR PETER.Aye but what's Principle against the Flattery of a handsome--lively young Fellow--SURFACE.That's very true--
SIR PETER.And then you know the difference of our ages makes it very improbable that she should have any great affection for me--and if she were to be frail and I were to make it Public--why the Town would only laugh at the foolish old Batchelor, who had married a girl----SURFACE.That's true--to be sure People would laugh.
SIR PETER.Laugh--aye and make Ballads--and Paragraphs and the Devil knows what of me--SURFACE.No--you must never make it public--SIR PETER.But then again that the Nephew of my old Friend, Sir Oliver[,] should be the Person to attempt such an injury--hurts me more nearly--
SURFACE.Undoubtedly--when Ingratitude barbs the Dart of Injury--the wound has double danger in it--
SIR PETER.Aye--I that was in a manner left his Guardian--in his House he had been so often entertain'd--who never in my Life denied him my advice--SURFACE.O 'tis not to be credited--There may be a man capable of such Baseness, to be sure--but for my Part till you can give me positive Proofs you must excuse me withholding my Belief.However, if this should be proved on him He is no longer a brother of mine I disclaim kindred with him--for the man who can break thro' the Laws of Hospitality--and attempt the wife of his Friend deserves to be branded as the Pest of Society.
SIR PETER.What a difference there is between you--what noble sentiments!--SURFACE.But I cannot suspect Lady Teazle's honor.
SIR PETER.I'm sure I wish to think well of her--and to remove all ground of Quarrel between us--She has lately reproach'd me more than once with having made no settlement on her--and, in our last Quarrel, she almost hinted that she should not break her Heart if I was dead.--now as we seem to differ in our Ideas of Expense I have resolved she shall be her own Mistress in that Respect for the future--and if I were to die--she shall find that I have not been inattentive to her Interests while living--Here my Friend are the Draughts of two Deeds which I wish to have your opinion on--by one she will enjoy eight hundred a year independent while I live--and by the other the bulk of my Fortune after my Death.
SURFACE.This conduct Sir Peter is indeed truly Generous! I wish it may not corrupt my pupil.--[Aside.]
SIR PETER.Yes I am determined she shall have no cause to complain--tho' I would not have her acquainted with the latter instance of my affection yet awhile.
SURFACE.Nor I--if I could help it.
