第61章

Yet, strange to say, under this vigorous treatment Tom became more like a girl than he had ever been in his life before.He had a large share of pride, which had hitherto found itself very comfortable in the world, despising Old Goggles, and reposing in the sense of unquestioned rights: but now this same pride met with nothing but bruises and crushings.Tom was too clear-sighted not to be aware that Mr Stelling's standard of things was quite different, was certainly something higher in the eyes of the world, than that of the people he had been living amongst, and that brought in contact with it, he, Tom Tulliver, appeared uncouth and stupid: he was by no means indifferent to this, and his pride got into an uneasy condition which quite nullified his boyish self-satisfaction, and gave him something of the girl's susceptibility.He was of a very firm, not to say obstinate, disposition, but there was no brute-like rebellion and recklessness in his nature: the human sensibilities predominated, and if it had occurred to him that he could enable himself to show some quickness at his lessons and so acquire Mr Stelling's approbation, by standing on one leg for an inconvenient length of time or rapping his head moderately against the wall, or any voluntary action of that sort, he would certainly have tried it.But no - Tom had never heard that these measures would brighten the understanding, or strengthen the verbal memory; and he was not given to hypothesis and experiment.It did occur to him that he could perhaps get some help by praying for it, but as the prayers he said every evening were forms learned by heart, he rather shrank from the novelty and irregularity of introducing an extempore passage on a topic of petition for which he was not aware of any precedent.But one day when he had broken down for the fifth time in the supines of the third conjugation, and Mr Stelling, convinced that this must be carelessness, since it transcended the bounds of possible stupidity, had lectured him very seriously, pointing out that if he failed to seize the present golden opportunity of learning supines, he would have to regret it when he became a man, - Tom, more miserable than usual, determined to try his sole resource, and that evening, after his usual form of prayer for his parents and `little sister' (he had begun to pray for Maggie when she was a baby) and that he might be able always to keep God's commandments, he added, in the same low whisper, `And please to make me always remember my Latin.' He paused a little to consider how he should pray about Euclid - Whether he should ask to see what it meant, or whether there was any other mental state which would be more applicable to the case.But at last he added - `And make Mr Stelling say I shan't do Euclid any more.Amen.'