--And this Doctor, Your sooty smoky-bearded compeer, he Will close you so much gold in a bolt's head, And, on a turn, convey in the stead another With sublimed mercury, that shall burst i' the heat, And all fly out _in fumo._--The Alchemist.
``How do you do, goot Mr.Oldenbuck? and I do hope your young gentleman, Captain M`Intyre, is getting better again?
Ach! it is a bat business when young gentlemens will put lead balls into each other's body.''
``Lead adventures of all kinds are very precarious, Mr.
Dousterswivel; but I am happy to learn,'' continued the Antiquary, ``from my friend Sir Arthur, that you have taken up a better trade, and become a discoverer of gold.''
``Ach, Mr.Oldenbuck, mine goot and honoured patron should not have told a word about dat little matter; for, though I have all reliance--yes, indeed, on goot Mr.Oldenbuck's prudence and discretion, and his great friendship for Sir Arthur Wardour--yet, my heavens! it is an great ponderous secret.''
``More ponderous than any of the metal we shall make by it, I fear,'' answered Oldbuck.
``Dat is just as you shall have de faith and de patience for de grand experiment--If you join wid Sir Arthur, as he is put one hundred and fifty--see, here is one fifty in your dirty Fairport bank-note--you put one other hundred and fifty in de dirty notes, and you shall have de pure gold and silver, I cannot tell how much.''
``Nor any one for you, I believe,'' said the Antiquary.``But, hark you, Mr.Dousterswivel: Suppose, without troubling this same sneezing spirit with any farther fumigations, we should go in a body, and having fair day-light and our good consciences to befriend us, using no other conjuring implements than good substantial pick-axes and shovels, fairly trench the area of the chancel in the ruins of St.Ruth, from one end to the other, and so ascertain the existence of this supposed treasure, without putting ourselves to any farther expense--the ruins belong to Sir Arthur himself, so there can be no objection--do you think we shall succeed in this way of managing the matter?''
``Bah!--you will not find one copper thimble--But Sir Arthur will do his pleasure.I have showed him how it is possible--very possible--to have de great sum of money for his occasions --I have showed him de real experiment.If he likes not to believe, goot Mr.Oldenbuck, it is nothing to Herman Dousterswivel--he only loses de money and de gold and de silvers--dat is all.''
Sir Arthur Wardour cast an intimidated glance at Oldbuck who, especially when present, held, notwithstanding their frequent difference of opinion, no ordinary influence over his sentiments.In truth, the Baronet felt, what he would not willingly have acknowledged, that his genius stood rebuked before that of the Antiquary.He respected him as a shrewd, penetrating, sarcastic character--feared his satire, and had some confidence in the general soundness of his opinions.He therefore looked at him as if desiring his leave before indulging his credulity.Dousterswivel saw he was in danger of losing his dupe, unless he could make some favourable impression on the adviser.
``I know, my goot Mr.Oldenbuck, it is one vanity to speak to you about de spirit and de goblin.But look at this curious horn;--I know, you know de curiosity of all de countries, and how de great Oldenburgh horn, as they keep still in the Museum at Copenhagen, was given to de Duke of Oldenburgh by one female spirit of de wood.Now I could not put one trick on you if I were willing--you who know all de curiosity so well--and dere it is de horn full of coins;--if it had been a box or case, I would have said nothing.''
``Being a horn,'' said Oldbuck, ``does indeed strengthen your argument.It was an implement of nature's fashioning, and therefore much used among rude nations, although, it may be, the metaphorical horn is more frequent in proportion to the progress of civilisation.And this present horn,'' he continued, rubbing it upon his sleeve, ``is a curious and venerable relic, and no doubt was intended to prove a _cornucopia,_ or horn of plenty, to some one or other; but whether to the adept or his patron, may be justly doubted.''
``Well, Mr.Oldenbuck, I find you still hard of belief--but let me assure you, de monksh understood de _magisterium._''
``Let us leave talking of the _magisterium,_ Mr.Dousterswivel, and think a little about the magistrate.Are you aware that this occupation of yours is against the law of Scotland, and that both Sir Arthur and myself are in the commission of the peace?''
``Mine heaven! and what is dat to de purpose when I am doing you all de goot I can?''
``Why, you must know that when the legislature abolished the cruel laws against witchcraft, they had no hope of destroying the superstitious feelings of humanity on which such chimeras had been founded; and to prevent those feelings from being tampered with by artful and designing persons, it is enacted by the ninth of George the Second, chap.5, that whosoever shall pretend, by his alleged skill in any occult or crafty science, to discover such goods as are lost, stolen or concealed, he shall suffer punishment by pillory and imprisonment, as a common cheat and impostor.''
``And is dat de laws?'' asked Dousterswivel, with some agitation.
``Thyself shall see the act,'' replied the Antiquary.
``Den, gentlemens, I shall take my leave of you, dat is all;I do not like to stand on your what you call pillory--it is very bad way to take de air, I think; and I do not like your prisons no more, where one cannot take de air at all.''
``If such be your taste, Mr.Dousterswivel,'' said the Antiquary, ``I advise you to stay where you are, for I cannot let you go, unless it be in the society of a constable; and, moreover, I expect you will attend us just now to the ruins of St.Ruth, and point out the place where you propose to find this treasure.''
