登陆注册
19616900000019

第19章 CHAPTER III (3)

To Mrs. Gaskell, he would often bring his new ideas, a process that many of his later friends will understand and, in their own cases, remember. With the girls, he had 'constant fierce wrangles,' forcing them to reason out their thoughts and to explain their prepossessions; and I hear from Miss Gaskell that they used to wonder how he could throw all the ardour of his character into the smallest matters, and to admire his unselfish devotion to his parents. Of one of these wrangles, I have found a record most characteristic of the man. Fleeming had been laying down his doctrine that the end justifies the means, and that it is quite right 'to boast of your six men-servants to a burglar or to steal a knife to prevent a murder'; and the Miss Gaskells, with girlish loyalty to what is current, had rejected the heresy with indignation. From such passages-at-arms, many retire mortified and ruffled; but Fleeming had no sooner left the house than he fell into delighted admiration of the spirit of his adversaries. From that it was but a step to ask himself 'what truth was sticking in their heads'; for even the falsest form of words (in Fleeming's life-long opinion) reposed upon some truth, just as he could 'not even allow that people admire ugly things, they admire what is pretty in the ugly thing.' And before he sat down to write his letter, he thought he had hit upon the explanation. 'I fancy the true idea,' he wrote, 'is that you must never do yourself or anyone else a moral injury - make any man a thief or a liar - for any end'; quite a different thing, as he would have loved to point out, from never stealing or lying. But this perfervid disputant was not always out of key with his audience. One whom he met in the same house announced that she would never again be happy. 'What does that signify?' cried Fleeming. 'We are not here to be happy, but to be good.' And the words (as his hearer writes to me) became to her a sort of motto during life.

From Fairbairn's and Manchester, Fleeming passed to a railway survey in Switzerland, and thence again to Mr. Penn's at Greenwich, where he was engaged as draughtsman. There in 1856, we find him in 'a terribly busy state, finishing up engines for innumerable gun- boats and steam frigates for the ensuing campaign.' From half-past eight in the morning till nine or ten at night, he worked in a crowded office among uncongenial comrades, 'saluted by chaff, generally low personal and not witty,' pelted with oranges and apples, regaled with dirty stories, and seeking to suit himself with his surroundings or (as he writes it) trying to be as little like himself as possible. His lodgings were hard by, 'across a dirty green and through some half-built streets of two-storied houses'; he had Carlyle and the poets, engineering and mathematics, to study by himself in such spare time as remained to him; and there were several ladies, young and not so young, with whom he liked to correspond. But not all of these could compensate for the absence of that mother, who had made herself so large a figure in his life, for sorry surroundings, unsuitable society, and work that leaned to the mechanical. 'Sunday,' says he, 'I generally visit some friends in town and seem to swim in clearer water, but the dirty green seems all the dirtier when I get back. Luckily I am fond of my profession, or I could not stand this life.' It is a question in my mind, if he could have long continued to stand it without loss. 'We are not here to be happy, but to be good,' quoth the young philosopher; but no man had a keener appetite for happiness than Fleeming Jenkin. There is a time of life besides when apart from circumstances, few men are agreeable to their neighbours and still fewer to themselves; and it was at this stage that Fleeming had arrived, later than common and even worse provided. The letter from which I have quoted is the last of his correspondence with Frank Scott, and his last confidential letter to one of his own sex. 'If you consider it rightly,' he wrote long after, 'you will find the want of correspondence no such strange want in men's friendships. There is, believe me, something noble in the metal which does not rust though not burnished by daily use.' It is well said; but the last letter to Frank Scott is scarcely of a noble metal. It is plain the writer has outgrown his old self, yet not made acquaintance with the new. This letter from a busy youth of three and twenty, breathes of seventeen: the sickening alternations of conceit and shame, the expense of hope IN VACUO, the lack of friends, the longing after love; the whole world of egoism under which youth stands groaning, a voluntary Atlas.

同类推荐
  • 三命通会

    三命通会

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 元好问集

    元好问集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 杨忠介集

    杨忠介集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 华严普贤行愿修证仪

    华严普贤行愿修证仪

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 太清玉碑子

    太清玉碑子

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 超级狂少

    超级狂少

    偶得《罗汉心经》,开天眼、习医术、修玄功,衰男咸鱼大翻身,成就一代超级狂少,从此握生死、转阴阳、活死人、医白骨、偶然发现了美女医生的秘密……从此开始纵意逍遥!
  • 佣兵骑士团

    佣兵骑士团

    尼奥,东方人的后代,他从一无所有,到成为克莱帝国的新贵。他带着一些朋友,一些其他的东方人,从一个小小的佣兵队,成为了帝国中战力最为强悍的骑士团之一。
  • 让·柯克多的足球流浪日记

    让·柯克多的足球流浪日记

    让·柯克多不是一个人,这个成长在80年代法国足球中兴岁月里足球世家的男孩与当代中国足球青少年有着同样炼狱般的足球命运。《让·柯克多的足球流浪日记》既是乱笔贯穿“足球文学”四大理论体系并发展到“足球文学史”的一次尝试,也是继续用“足球文学”质问中国足球的一次尝试。我用这个法国20世纪著名诗人的名字作为《让·柯克多的足球流浪日记》的男主角是告知更多中国人,让今天的你真正进入读书与足球,从阅读中学知性,懂礼节。“足球文学”功到自然成。
  • 同桌的她

    同桌的她

    柳怡萱和陈熙敏是丹水池小学的五年级1班的学生,柳怡萱是班长兼语文科代表,而陈熙敏是班上有名的小痞子,他们虽然是同桌,但是私下总是水火不相容。一次陈熙敏的好朋友告诉他,柳怡萱在班主任那里打他的小报告,他十分生气于是想整整柳怡萱,让她知道自己的厉害,就在下课的时候偷偷的在柳怡萱的笔盒里放了一个整人玩具。柳怡萱上课打开笔盒时发现一只毛茸茸的的东西,受到惊吓,被张老师发现批评了她,柳怡萱委屈的哭了,陈熙敏看到柳怡萱哭了,而自己的阴谋也得逞了,于是偷偷的笑了。过了几天,柳怡萱发现陈熙敏上课总是打瞌睡,于是小心提醒他,用铅笔头扎了他。后来柳怡萱在卖学习资料的路上发现陈熙敏提着饭盒走进了医院……
  • 女尊王爷:独宠平民王妃

    女尊王爷:独宠平民王妃

    [已完结,男生子!慎入!!书群:370718206]“商踏离,只要你想要的,我迁莫文都会想方设法地给你。”她一脸认真的许诺,眸中是一片真挚。“我要你给我休书,放我自由。”商踏离依旧是冷冷的,就像从前一样,也对,他对她,一向如此。她迁莫文是骁勇善战的女王爷,可是这一生就败在了商踏离的手中。
  • 娇娘子拐冷相公

    娇娘子拐冷相公

    三月的阳光暖暖的,轻抚着慕石校园的每一处嫩绿。新生命正悄悄从松土中露出头角,一切都安静的甜美,可体育馆的篮球场上却热闹非凡。“哇啊啊啊碍...好帅啊!”“泉夜!我爱你!我爱你!”“真的太帅了,泉夜哥哥!”......篮球场上,一群疯狂的女生又蹦又跳。哼!不就是那个叫车泉夜的臭屁男投进了一个球吗?有必要那么激动那么大声吗?我一个劲的朝她们丢卫生眼,她们完全不把我放在眼里。
  • 笑傲神雕之问情

    笑傲神雕之问情

    主角:东方不败(东方白)X李莫愁配角:小龙女,公孙绿萼,杨过,陆展元等等.......
  • 20几岁,一定要学会选择,懂得放弃

    20几岁,一定要学会选择,懂得放弃

    20几岁,绝不是左右徘徊、犹豫不定的年龄,而应是敢作敢为、懂得选择、勇于放弃的年龄。你今天的得到,是因为昨天的放弃;而你今天的放弃,又是为了明天更好的得到。20几岁的年轻人,请打开你心灵的桎梏,冲破你思想的束缚吧!只有摆脱不必要的牵绊,学会选择放弃,你才可以轻装上阵,走向真正属于自己的精彩和成功。
  • 东林游侠传

    东林游侠传

    万历末年,迷雾重重,福王强势,太子不稳,各方势力,明争暗斗,一个少年,亦正亦邪,卷入这是非漩涡,无意间揭开层层迷雾,见证东林的兴亡。本文的故事,就从明末四大奇案之一的《妖书案》讲起。要写的这本小说,本是一部武侠小说。题材选择了明末的党争,因此江湖味救淡了一些,党争的描述多一些。所以就想,武侠嘛,侠义为本,淡写江湖,也不错。
  • 尸兄,你好

    尸兄,你好

    宝剑,婚约,千年前的旧人为何滞留古墓千年?书生,执念,徘徊在校园的幽灵何时才能解脱?我一直认为比鬼还要恐怖的是人心。