登陆注册
19860300000054

第54章 RESPITE(1)

The last volume was written in fourteen days. In this achievement Reardon rose almost to heroic pitch, for he had much to contend with beyond the mere labour of composition. Scarcely had he begun when a sharp attack of lumbago fell upon him; for two or three days it was torture to support himself at the desk, and he moved about like a cripple. Upon this ensued headaches, sore-throat, general enfeeblement. And before the end of the fortnight it was necessary to think of raising another small sum of money; he took his watch to the pawnbroker's (you can imagine that it would not stand as security for much), and sold a few more books. All this notwithstanding, here was the novel at length finished. When he had written 'The End' he lay back, closed his eyes, and let time pass in blankness for a quarter of an hour.

It remained to determine the title. But his brain refused another effort; after a few minutes' feeble search he simply took the name of the chief female character, Margaret Home. That must do for the book. Already, with the penning of the last word, all its scenes, personages, dialogues had slipped away into oblivion; he knew and cared nothing more about them.

'Amy, you will have to correct the proofs for me. Never as long as I live will I look upon a page of this accursed novel. It has all but killed me.'

'The point is,' replied Amy, 'that here we have it complete. Pack it up and take it to the publishers' to-morrow morning.'

'I will.'

'And--you will ask them to advance you a few pounds?'

'I must.'

But that undertaking was almost as hard to face as a rewriting of the last volume would have been. Reardon had such superfluity of sensitiveness that, for his own part, he would far rather have gone hungry than ask for money not legally his due. To-day there was no choice. In the ordinary course of business it would be certainly a month before he heard the publishers' terms, and perhaps the Christmas season might cause yet more delay. Without borrowing, he could not provide for the expenses of more than another week or two.

His parcel under his arm, he entered the ground-floor office, and desired to see that member of the firm with whom he had previously had personal relations. This gentleman was not in town; he would be away for a few days. Reardon left the manuscript, and came out into the street again.

He crossed, and looked up at the publishers' windows from the opposite pavement. 'Do they suspect in what wretched circumstances I am? Would it surprise them to know all that depends upon that budget of paltry scribbling? I suppose not; it must be a daily experience with them. Well, I must write a begging letter.'

It was raining and windy. He went slowly homewards, and was on the point of entering the public door of the flats when his uneasiness became so great that he turned and walked past. If he went in, he must at once write his appeal for money, and he felt that he could not. The degradation seemed too great.

Was there no way of getting over the next few weeks? Rent, of course, would be due at Christmas, but that payment might be postponed; it was only a question of buying food and fuel. Amy had offered to ask her mother for a few pounds; it would be cowardly to put this task upon her now that he had promised to meet the difficulty himself. What man in all London could and would lend him money? He reviewed the list of his acquaintances, but there was only one to whom he could appeal with the slightest hope--that was Carter.

Half an hour later he entered that same hospital door through which, some years ago, he had passed as a half-starved applicant for work. The matron met him.

'Is Mr Carter here?'

'No, sir. But we expect him any minute. Will you wait?'

He entered the familiar office, and sat down. At the table where he had been wont to work, a young clerk was writing. If only all the events of the last few years could be undone, and he, with no soul dependent upon him, be once more earning his pound a week in this room! What a happy man he was in those days!

Nearly half an hour passed. It is the common experience of beggars to have to wait. Then Carter came in with quick step; he wore a heavy ulster of the latest fashion, new gloves, a resplendent silk hat; his cheeks were rosy from the east wind.

'Ha, Reardon! How do? how do? Delighted to see you!'

'Are you very busy?'

'Well, no, not particularly. A few cheques to sign, and we're just getting out our Christmas appeals. You remember?'

He laughed gaily. There was a remarkable freedom from snobbishness in this young man; the fact of Reardon's intellectual superiority had long ago counteracted Carter's social prejudices.

'I should like to have a word with you.'

'Right you are!'

They went into a small inner room. Reardon's pulse beat at fever-rate; his tongue was cleaving to his palate.

'What is it, old man?' asked the secretary, seating himself and flinging one of his legs over the other. 'You look rather seedy, do you know. Why the deuce don't you and your wife look us up now and then?'

'I've had a hard pull to finish my novel.'

'Finished, is it? I'm glad to hear that. When'll it be out? I'll send scores of people to Mudie's after it.

'Thanks; but I don't think much of it, to tell you the truth.'

'Oh, we know what that means.'

Reardon was talking like an automaton. It seemed to him that he turned screws and pressed levers for the utterance of his next words.

'I may as well say at once what I have come for. Could you lend me ten pounds for a month--in fact, until I get the money for my book?'

The secretary's countenance fell, though not to that expression of utter coldness which would have come naturally under the circumstances to a great many vivacious men. He seemed genuinely embarrassed.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 傲倾天下

    傲倾天下

    她,月尘。曾是地下佣兵组织冷月的王牌。绝对冷静的头脑,绝对诡异的计划,绝对聪明的部署。组织的覆灭让她不愿再苟活。重生,她有了前世最不敢想的资本,一个健康的身体。然,得到的却是深深豪门,勾收斗角,静下来,她真有个愿意,用自己健康的身体,去换一方平静的乐土,平静,才是她想的东西!--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 毒型人格

    毒型人格

    这是一本能帮助人们彻底透视、摆脱13种人际毒害的实用读本。用正面的解决心态、播种法则和专注法则来化解13种人际毒害,搭配实用的语言技巧,让你从此不受他人左右,成功摆脱毒型人物,在人生、职场、情场、朋友圈以及亲子关系中,拿回快乐人生的自主权。
  • 异世妖娆:魔皇的狂妃

    异世妖娆:魔皇的狂妃

    她,是21世纪人人闻风丧胆的死神,医学界的鬼才,却不料被姐妹背叛而亡。她是大陆上有名的废材,娘没了,爹不疼,姐妹姨娘欺负她。当她穿越成她,她势必要为原主报仇。废材?谁说的,一夜之间变天才,神兽和超神兽争当她的宠物,大把丹药当糖吃......当狂,腹黑的她遇到她前世爱人,腹黑、无赖、霸道的他时,又会怎样呢?看下去呗(希望大家多多支持,作者是新人,写不好的话请原谅,还有作者过一段时间可能要补课,所以更新慢,表介意啊!)
  • 无赖高手在都市

    无赖高手在都市

    一名家世显赫,身手高超的纨绔少爷,最大的爱好,就是喜欢美女。他隐身于都市,靠着不懈的努力追美猎艳,最终获得了各色美女的芳心。
  • 对不起,遇见太晚

    对不起,遇见太晚

    讨厌的闹铃总是按时在沉沉地黑暗中开始响起,黑暗中黎明慢慢地醒来,晨风开始轻扶公寓墙角静静的竹丛,发出丝丝地声响,此刻是6:40。校园中,透出窗口的灯光一点点地在黑暗中蔓延开来,几栋学生公寓开始骚动起来。
  • 为何情难落

    为何情难落

    这世界是由:阴暗,背叛,肮脏,龌龊,傲慢,贪婪,骄奢,卑鄙,嫉妒,冷漠,乖戾,浮夸,颟顸,唯利是图,沽名钓誉,笑里藏刀,阿谀奉承等等所组成的。我们这一生总是活在我们自己制造幻影中一步步沉沦与消磨。最伤人的不是毒药,是爱情。
  • 万古星天

    万古星天

    亘古匆匆,斗转星移,头顶的那片黑暗天穹中,诸天星宿仿若芸芸众生,明暗闪烁,生死循环,又有谁能化身其中最永恒耀眼的那一颗?小小少年,自幼父母双亡,和捡到他的老爹生活在一个小村中。飞来横祸,打破了他原本安宁祥和的简单生活。烛天火光中,少年面对全村人的尸体而昏厥,醒来后已是身在仙门!一个瑰丽玄奇的浩瀚世界,就此向他掀开神秘面纱!踏上漫漫修道之途,一路上,有情窦初开的懵懂,有仗剑天涯的豪情,有花前月下的温存,有生离死别的凄婉,有回天乏力的无奈,有功成名就的热血!坚毅少年又能否不畏浮云遮望眼,跳脱命运长河的桎梏,成就万古星天的传说!
  • 大天使之路

    大天使之路

    吾以审判天使之名,消除宇宙诸邪恶!她金发金瞳,背生双翼。银白色的战甲将她婀娜多姿的火辣身材勾勒地更加美好。她手持烈焰之剑,斩诛一切黑暗与罪恶,只为宇宙的公平与正义而战!她的身世离奇,长大后在天蓝星大放异彩,最终破解了星球的秘密。在一次历险中,彻底觉醒了天使血脉,成为了一名高贵的审判天使。在长达7000多年的时间里,她邂逅了三个男人。他们或非凡,或平凡,或屌丝,在最后却都成就了非凡的事迹。欲知详情,敬请阅读大天使之路!
  • 转生(下)

    转生(下)

    为了保护自己所创造的世界,创世之神强迫毁灭之神与其一起投身在艾法兰的世界,两个人同时转生成为了人类。在众神之战以后,在人类迁居天青大陆以后,在时间过去上千年以后,创世之神与毁灭之神的转生相遇了,我们的故事也拉开了序幕……
  • 星战之翼

    星战之翼

    陈却是一个怀揣着梦想的**丝青年。很久以前,当他还是一个乳臭未干的小孩的时候,站在平民区的一处破旧房顶上,望着远处城市中的高楼大厦,他发誓自己总有一天要走出这里。在金钱被推至顶峰的国家,自己是毫无梦想可言的。怎样才能离开呢?他的父亲告诉他,他需要一艘飞船。但普通的飞船又怎么会满足一个diao丝的胃口,所以他的梦想渐渐变成天际那横跨星空的战舰,而自己就会成为一名舰长。但后来随着年龄的增长,他发现一艘战舰已经无法满足自己的yy了,他觉得自己应该成为一名征服者。因为那样,城市里的唯物主义者才能被他所征服。没有异能,没有伪科幻,没有nb机甲,这是一本很纯很纯的纯科幻。