JACK.--Are you sure he is in the next room? Have you provided a very sharp knife, in case of the worst?
HAB.--Dost take me for a common liar? Be satisfied, no damage can happen to your person; your friends will take care of that.
JACK.--Mayn't I quilt my rope? It galls my neck strangely: besides, I don't like this running knot. It holds too tight; I may be stifled all of a sudden.
HAB.--Thou hast so many ifs and ands! prithee despatch; it might have been over before this time.
JACK.--But now I think on't, I would fain settle some affairs, for fear of the worst: have a little patience.
HAB.--There's no having patience, thou art such a faintling, silly creature.
JACK.--O thou most detestable, abominable Passive Obedience! did Iever imagine I should become thy votary, in so pregnant an instance?
How will my brother Martin laugh at this story, to see himself outdone in his own calling! He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice.
No sooner had he uttered these words, but, like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noose, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the inside of which he had often graced in his prosperous days. This footstool Habakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack swinging like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noose performed its office, and with most strict ligature squeezed the blood into his face till it assumed a purple dye.
While the poor man heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habakkuk walked with great deliberation into both the upper and lower room, to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and scoffs instead of pity. "Jack has hanged himself!" quoth they; "let us go and see how the poor rogue swings." Then they called Sir Roger. "Sir Roger," quoth Habakkuk, "Jack has hanged himself; make haste and cut him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear and then the other, not understanding what he said.
HAB.--I tell you Jack has hanged himself up.
SIR ROGER.--Who's hanged?
HAB.--Jack.
SIR ROGER.--I thought this had not been hanging day.
HAB.--But the poor fellow has hanged himself.
SIR ROGER.--Then let him hang. I don't wonder at it; the fellow has been mad these twenty years.
With this he slunk away.
Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another: "Why don't you go and cut the poor fellow down?" "Why don't you?" "And why don't you?" "Not I," quoth one. "Not I," quoth another. "Not I,"quoth a third; "he may hang till doomsday before I relieve him!"Nay, it is credibly reported that they were so far from succouring their poor friend in this his dismal circumstance, that Ptschirnsooker and several of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and thumped him on the breast. Then they began to rail at him for the very thing which they had advised and justified before, viz., his getting into the old gentlewoman's family, and putting on her livery. The keeper who performed the last office coming up, found Jack swinging, with no life in him. He took down the body gently and laid it on a bulk, and brought out the rope to the company. "This, gentlemen, is the rope that hanged Jack; what must be done with it?" Upon which they ordered it to be laid among the curiosities of Gresham College; and it is called Jack's rope to this very day. However, Jack, after all, had some small tokens of life in him, but lies, at this time, past hopes of a total recovery, with his head hanging on one shoulder, without speech or motion.
The coroner's inquest, supposing him to be dead, brought him in non compos.
