Indeed I have no heart, on account of our dear Amelia's sake, to go through the story of George's last days at home.
At last the day came, the carriage drove up, the little humble packets containing tokens of love and remembrance were ready and disposed in the hall long since --George was in his new suit, for which the tailor had come previously to measure him.He had sprung up with the sun and put on the new clothes, his mother hearing him from the room close by, in which she had been lying, in speechless grief and watching.Days before she had been making preparations for the end, purchasing little stores for the boy's use, marking his books and linen, talking with him and preparing him for the change --fondly fancying that he needed preparation.
So that he had change, what cared he? He was longing for it.By a thousand eager declarations as to what he would do, when he went to live with his grandfather, he had shown the poor widow how little the idea of parting had cast him down."He would come and see his mamma often on the pony," he said."He would come and fetch her in the carriage; they would drive in the park, and she should have everything she wanted."The poor mother was fain to content herself with these selfish demonstrations of attachment, and tried to convince herself how sincerely her son loved her.He must love her.All children were so: a little anxious for novelty, and--no, not selfish, but self-willed.Her child must have his enjoyments and ambition in the world.She herself, by her own selfishness and imprudent love for him had denied him his just rights and pleasures hitherto.
I know few things more affecting than that timorous debasement and self-humiliation of a woman.How she owns that it is she and not the man who is guilty; how she takes all the faults on her side; how she courts in a manner punishment for the wrongs which she has not committed and persists in shielding the real culprit! It is those who injure women who get the most kindness from them--they are born timid and tyrants and maltreat those who are humblest before them.
So poor Amelia had been getting ready in silent misery for her son's departure, and had passed many and many a long solitary hour in making preparations for the end.
George stood by his mother, watching her arrangements without the least concern.Tears had fallen into his boxes;passages had been scored in his favourite books; old toys, relics, treasures had been hoarded away for him, and packed with strange neatness and care--and of all these things the boy took no note.The child goes away smiling as the mother breaks her heart.By heavens it is pitiful, the bootless love of women for children in Vanity Fair.
A few days are past, and the great event of Amelia's life is consummated.No angel has intervened.The child is sacrificed and offered up to fate, and the widow is quite alone.
The boy comes to see her often, to be sure.He rides on a pony with a coachman behind him, to the delight of his old grandfather, Sedley, who walks proudly down the lane by his side.She sees him, but he is not her boy any more.Why, he rides to see the boys at the little school, too, and to show off before them his new wealth and splendour.In two days he has adopted a slightly imperious air and patronizing manner.He was born to command, his mother thinks, as his father was before him.
It is fine weather now.Of evenings on the days when he does not come, she takes a long walk into London --yes, as far as Russell Square, and rests on the stone by the railing of the garden opposite Mr.Osborne's house.
It is so pleasant and cool.She can look up and see the drawing-room windows illuminated, and, at about nine o'clock, the chamber in the upper story where Georgy sleeps.She knows--he has told her.She prays there as the light goes out, prays with an humble heart, and walks home shrinking and silent.She is very tired when she comes home.Perhaps she will sleep the better for that long weary walk, and she may dream about Georgy.
One Sunday she happened to be walking in Russell Square, at some distance from Mr.Osborne's house (she could see it from a distance though) when all the bells of Sabbath were ringing, and George and his aunt came out to go to church; a little sweep asked for charity, and the footman, who carried the books, tried to drive him away; but Georgy stopped and gave him money.May God's blessing be on the boy! Emmy ran round the square and, coming up to the sweep, gave him her mite too.
All the bells of Sabbath were ringing, and she followed them until she came to the Foundling Church, into which she went.There she sat in a place whence she could see the head of the boy under his father's tombstone.
Many hundred fresh children's voices rose up there and sang hymns to the Father Beneficent, and little George's soul thrilled with delight at the burst of glorious psalmody.His mother could not see him for awhile, through the mist that dimmed her eyes.
